God's reminder

Yesterday my mom asked me if I want to go to a prayer meeting since she has been seeing me stayed at home all day doing unproductive things.

Actually, I was really lazy to go out. But I felt that God asked me to go so I went.

There... I was actually getting bored and can't concentrate since my mind still thought about things and it made my heartfelt uneasy.

Until the end of the prayer, I still felt uneasy and didn't really pay attention to the people who queued to get prayer from the pastor.

God told the pastor directly about what He wanted to say to us.

And after I heard my grandma and mother got the prayer, it was so accurate, so I changed my mind and queue too.

And it's finally my turn to get the direct prayer and God's message through the pastor.

She told me that I don't really like studying something that is too academics focus. I like something that is more free & artistic 

(I think this answered my prayers about what to do in E2 (even if it's still an abstract answer)

The pastor asked me if I want to go to a country. I said yes. 

Then she asked me which country that I want to go. I answered her "Switzerland" 

She said that I will go there. 

She also said that I always ask for things that are too grant and doesn't make sense for people who hear it. 

She said that God can give me those things easily if I am close to God. 

But I have never been close to God and I just pray when I'm about to sleep.

That really hit me.

Actually, I always know that I am getting farther from God. 

I know what I am supposed to do. But I never did it. 

I don't know why. It's just I don't get that much motivation to do it.

And after yesterday's night.

I commit myself to start having my own time with God. I need to do it every day. 

I must force myself against my own will and I must beat my flesh. 

I must keep this commitment.

God, please help me to keep this commitment.

And thank you for speaking to me through Your servant.